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The windup and the pitch . . . but we know you can do better in unclebarky.com's first grand prize contest

By ED BARK
Promoting a local TV news station is an art form in a way. Pick just the right resonant slogan or personality and at least a small percentage of viewers will respond. In close ratings races, that can make all the difference.

As you'll see from a new Back Channels piece, Ch. 4 once used comedy hillbilly Ernest P. Worrell to sell its newscasts. And Ch. 8 deployed actor Dennis Weaver as a crackerbarrel, back porch Barnum.

It's a bit more sophisticated now. But Uncle Barky is certain that you can come up with creative, cheeky alternatives to the current sales pitches. And we've got some very nice prizes for those with the best one-liners. Here's what the stations are using now:

Fox4 -- "The News Station"
NBC5 -- "Not Just What Happens, What Matters."
Belo8 -- "First In News, First In High-Definition" (sub-slogan: "The Spirit of Texas")
CBS11 -- "Coverage You Can Count On"

Surely you can do better. And here's what you can win, with Uncle Barky the sole judge and executioner:

First Prize Winner
Pick any three from among the following, all of which are brand new and unopened:
Complete Season One of The Rockford Files
Reno 911! -- The Complete Fourth Season Uncensored!
Complete Season One of Battlestar Galactica
Official Kitchen Timer tied to the Bravo series Top Chef
Complete Season One of Miami Vice
Complete Season One of Hogan's Heroes
Complete Season One of One Tree Hill
Complete Season One of My Name Is Earl

Second Prize Winner
Pick any three of the remaining prizes

Third Prize Winner
You'll get the two remaining prizes.

Deadline for entries, which must be received via email, is noon Friday (June 22nd). Send all entries, one per person, to unclebarky@tx.rr.com Please include your actual name, not your email ID.

Prize winners will be notified and posted Monday on the Above the Fold page. And delivery or shipping will be arranged if necessary. Possibly by pony express, though. Unclebarky.com has limited funds. Just kidding -- about the pony express part.

So please participate, have fun and be creative, snarky, pitchy, whatever. You can devise slogans for as many stations as you want. And select a celebrity to deliver them if you'd like.

It's all up to you. And if the turnout is decent, we'll have more contests in the future.