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Top 10 D-FW news beauties and cuties

Plasma screen, plasma screen on the wall. Who's the fairest of them all?

Most TV news anchors and reporters aren't hired solely for their looks, of course. But it definitely doesn't hurt to occasionally be mistaken for a runway model. Much better that than a Basset hound or an Uncle Barky lookalike.

Submitted for your approval then, is this Top 10 list of D-FW television's prettiest newsies. Both genders are eligible in this glam-cam countdown, and it was tough to count out the likes of . . . well, let's not name names. That's your job if your favorite hottie is left out of these pictures.

CBS11's J.D. Miles and Belo8's Shelly Slater

10. J.D. Miles (CBS11) -- Homegrown hunk grew up in Plano and graduated from SMU. Left Tulsa in 1996 to join CBS11 as a street reporter. Sources melt when jaunty J.D. says, "Hey, whatcha got for me?" Hasn't let his looks turn him into a bubblehead.

9. Shelly Slater (Belo8) -- Go-get-'em newcomer joined ABC station in September as a weekend anchor and prominently featured reporter. Also a Plano product, she's got the looks and spunk of a prize untamed mare. Belo8 is breaking the kid in fast, though, and that's more than OK with her.

Belo8's Justin Farmer and Fox4's Natalie Solis

8. Justin Farmer (Belo8) -- This Farmer's an early riser, too, milking ooh-ah looks and a li'l Superman curl as part of Belo8's Daybreak anchor team. A graduate of Boston College, he came to Dallas by way of Oklahoma City. Dad is Don Farmer, one of CNN's charter anchors. His apple-cheeked kid didn't fall far from the journo tree.

7. Natalie Solis (Fox4) -- Beauteous San Antonio rose worked for a Miami station before returning to her native state. She'll now be blooming in a brighter flower garden while subbing for Good Day mainstay Megan Henderson, who's pulling the 9 p.m. shift until Heather Hays returns from maternity leave.

NBC5's Meredith Land and CBS11's Tiani Jones

6. Meredith Land (NBC5) -- D-FW's reigning blonde bombshell is a Clemson University grad who joined NBC5 in 2003 from a Charleston, S.C. station. Co-anchoring the Peacock's weekday early evening newscasts doesn't leave a lot of time for in-depth reporting. So Meredith usually plays in the shallow end of the pool, offering viewers beauty tips or the secret to finding the perfect pillow.

5. Tiani Jones (CBS11) -- Is it sexist to say she's smokin' hot? On safer ground, Tiani also has shown she's a very capable street reporter since arriving at CBS11 in 2005. Her alma mater is the University of Miami, where South Beach must still be taking cold showers

The Peacock's got two guys in full plumage.

4. Brian Curtis (NBC5) -- You look at this guy and say, "Thanks for makin' me feel like Elmer Fudd." He's been at NBC5 since 2003, arriving from a Kansas City station. Brian co-anchors NBC5's 4 p.m. newscasts with Kristi Nelson. He's otherwise not much of a weightlifter, regularly contributing airy 10 p.m. newscast reports on where to find "Big Fat Savings" about town.

3. Nigel Wheeler (NBC5) -- He's not one of the market's better known reporters yet, but if looks could kill he'd be D-FW's most wanted. A graduate of the University of California at Berkeley, Nigel's been trying to make a name for himself at NBC5 since 2004. No one's got a cuter baby face, though. Instead of always saying, "The news continues in 30 seconds," maybe anchor Jane McGarry should try, "And now, ladies, your nightly half-minute of Nigel."

CBS11's Karen Borta and Fox4's Megan Henderson

2. Karen Borta (CBS11) -- She's the Queen Mother of D-FW news hotties, a veteran stunner who's been at CBS11's latenight throttle since 1995. Born in Arlington and a grad of UTA, Karen's now a mom times three but otherwise still pretty much a 10. Yes, there is another Babe on board with her -- sports anchor Laufenberg. He's not a bad looking guy at all. It's just that Borta's the Babe Ruth of the two.

1. Megan Henderson (Fox4) -- You knew it would come to this. Megan's been co-anchoring Good Day since the summer of 2003. The early hours so far haven't taken any visible toll on her, but now she'll get a brief respite filling in for Heather Hays at 9 p.m. At any hour of day or night, Megan's still the TV news beauty to beat. It doesn't seem fair, does it? Pick a Charlie's Angel, any Charlie's Angel from the big-screen movies or the TV series. Then put her next to Megan. Voila, they're all Joy Behars.

Top 10 advertising icons still looking for their own TV shows

True story: Caught between a rock and a hard place with a slew of failing or faded sitcoms, ABC has commissioned a comedy pilot starring the Geico car insurance cavemen.

This strikes Uncle Barky as something so simple that even he can do it. Namely, develop concepts for advertising icons who have yet to get their own TV series. And aw-a-a-ay we go:

10. Mr. Peanut -- The venerable goober just can't get any respect after marrying into a family of highfalutin' cashews, pistachios, walnuts and almonds. Talk about your mixed nuts! Tired of being picked over, Mr. Peanut is resigned to becoming part of a commonplace Payday candy bar until he wins the Georgia mega-lottery. Now everyone's his friend. But will he shell out?

9. McGruff the Crime Dog -- Columbo's gettin' pretty old for the job, but McGruff's both ready for action and an even lousier dresser. There's just one thing, though. He has rabies. So takin' a bite out of crime is easier said than done, although McGruff has a Dirty Harry streak that's often hard to muzzle. And his finicky partner, Morris the Cat, is just drivin' him cr-a-a-a-azy!

8. The Marlboro Man and the Frito Bandito -- The Cisco Kid and Pancho are in retirement, so get ready to ride the range with a surly nicotine addict from Dead Man's Gulch and his always smiling saddle mate. Marlboro and Frito may not always get along, but they've got each other's back when trouble's a brewin'. Now if Marlboro could just curb those raging coughing fits, which flare up whenever Frito begs him to quit smokin' and eat tasty, salty snacks instead.

7. Betty Crocker -- The original Martha Stewart still bakes the old-school way while solving crimes on the side. Wrongdoers often are first seduced by a slice of her triple-fudge, butter-sugar bundt cake. "Ma'am, I'll tell ya anything if you'll just give me another slice. My woman's got me on one of those heart-healthy diet regimens, and man, it's killin' me." Betty ends each episode with a blast-from-the-past recipe that's guaranteed to have at least 1,500 calories per serving. Made with love, of course.

6. Aunt Jemima and Uncle Ben -- And you thought there were fireworks on The Jeffersons?! Jemima and Ben sling pancakes and barbs at a raucous, finger-lickin' diner where everyone knows your name and your business. They love each other to death, but running both a business and a marriage can get downright lethal at times. Hold on, they're comin' -- and you'd better get your order right!

5. The Oscar Mayer Weiner Mobile -- Eat your heart out, Knight Rider. The weiner mobile may look a little dorky, but wait'll bad guys get a taste of its mustard spray. Capable of zooming to 200 miles an hour via patented flatulence propulsion, this justice-seeker has a hot dog's flair for turning crooks into dead meat. It's the Ambiguously Gay Duo's dream car, all right. But they can't have it!

4. Tony the Tiger -- There's a cereal killer on the loose, and Tony's just the guy to find out who hijacked a year's supply of Rice Krispies. Or worse yet, ruined a major shipment of Sugar Pops by dousing it with a milk bomb. Wait, though, could big Tony and his band of butt-kissing tiger cubs really be double agents out to destroy all the competition? You're going to have a g-r-r-r-r-reat!!! time finding out.

3. The Energizer Bunny and Speedy Alka Seltzer -- What a great feel-good comedy team they make! Tireless energy, upbeat attitudes, squeezable good looks. Yes, Speedy and the Bunny are Branson's hottest attraction, wowing the all-you-can-eat buffet crowds with snappy banter and whiz-bang sight gags. But there's heartbreak offstage. Both suffer from severe self-loathing, with Speedy ready to jump headlong into a glass of water while Bunny considers using ACME batteries. They're gonna make it, but only with your help.

2. Mr. Clean -- Kojak was OK for his day. But Mr. Clean gets rid of dirt and grime and grease in just a minute. Mr. Clean will clean your whole house, and everything that's in it. Other than that, he's a private detective who specializes in spying on unfaithful spouses. First he gives you the dirt, then he mops your kitchen! And all for one, low affordable price. He's been this way ever since Mrs. Clean left him for the Tidy Bowl Man.

1. The Jolly Green Giant -- The Giant's long been the towering, benevolent ruler of the little kingdom of Squat. Mind your peas and cucumbers, though, he can go berserk if provoked. Lately that's been happening a lot after a mysterious crop-dusting plane sprayed the Giant's leafy suit with something other than pesticides. So look out below when "Ho ho ho!" suddenly gives way to "I'll crush you all like bugs, and then I'm goin' after that other Green Giant, Al Gore!"