Sex the latest Rx for struggling CW33 news
05/25/10 10:54 AM
By ED BARK
Shocking but true: CW33's newscasts finally are in HD after an unannounced weekend conversion.
Amazing but irrefutable: The pictures are crisper, but the content is even worse. News director David Duitch's latest gambit to spike ratings is sex-drenched newscasts and a website to match. On Monday's first weekday 9 p.m. edition in HD, anchors Walt Maciborski and Amanda Salinas presided over a veritable carnival of carnality spiked by repeated promos for "The G-Shot for Your G-Spot."
Maciborski described it as "the interesting alternative to getting 'The Big O' " while miraculously keeping his jaw set firm. Other jaws might have dropped just seconds before excitable CW33 correspondent Nic Lively's story hit home screens midway through the newscast.
As a further appetizer, the station showed video of an unidentified male anchor from an out-of-town newscast remarking, "So she's enjoying penis a little bit more, is she?" Debased anew, Maciborski and Salinas acted as though they'd heard nothing. This clearly is the newscast for parents who'd like to accelerate Little Jimmy's march toward puberty.
(Note to readers: the p-word anchor in question is Michael Hill, formerly of WFAA8 and CBS11 in Dallas and now of ABC affiliate WGNO-TV in New Orleans. He was reacting to his station's G-shot story, and so far remains employed.)
In her penetrating report, Lively informed viewers that "there are a staggering number of women out there who can't achieve an orgasm. The G-shot is supposed to be the 'O'-so-good cure."
Not that she's tried it. And Lively also has a stated aversion to needles. Still, "this little shot of gold gets a 10 on the Nic-tastic scale of fantastic," she trilled.
We're just getting warmed up.
Earlier in Monday's newscast, veteran reporter Shana Franklin remained neck-deep in the sex beat with a story on ijustmadelove.com.
Earlier in the May "sweeps," Franklin assumed the position for what was supposed to be a "30 Days of Sex Challenge" starring a young, willing and able Granbury couple. But the series abruptly ended -- and all attendant CW website videos and blogs were removed -- after the couple said their two-year-old son's life was threatened in connection with the sex challenge series. Until that point, they had happily shared descriptions of their daily activities with CW33, including a "Day 7" notation that read: "Too much tequila and now bedside lamp is broken and lost bra. Great night I think."
Franklin's latest look at libidos, titled "Sex In Your City," got the requisite buildup from co-anchor Salinas, who teased, "Sometimes getting frisky is all about being spontaneous. Like how about getting it on in a coat closet?"
The story made the aforementioned web site seem a bit icky, but duly promoted it as a place where joiners can tweet about out-of-bedroom sex, where they had it, how they did it, etc.
Franklin's foreplay included this observation: "Getting more action than the dog park apparently is the area around Dallas's Lakewood Country Club, where the golf course has been home to many holes in one."
After the deed, Salinas dutifully referred viewers to "more between the sheets stories" on the CW33 website.
Monday's masterpiece also included several peeks at a provocative outfit worn by tennis star Venus Williams. Maciborski said it was made "with a material that seemed to be see-through and bottomless."
Then came reporter Roni Proter's "White Worn Right" dispatch, with Salinas priming the pump by asking, "Do you have the perfect white skirt but maybe not the perfect undergarments to wear underneath?"
Proter visited a trendy clothing shop that sold both white outfits for the summer and undergarments designed to eliminate unsightly bulges or bra/panty lines.
"What she's wearing is 'Smooth Outs' which are nipple concealers," a marketer nearly gurgled to Proter before showing how to "gather the girls" for just the right bustline -- or something.
Salinas later chimed, "And we have a picture gallery for this story."
Monday night was by no means an aberration. CW33's latest strategy is to sell sex as its principle newscast commodity, whether cooing over various cheerleader tryouts, concocting sometimes ill-fated viewer participation gambits or sending Franklin into the breech as part of what she calls "a beat you won't see at many TV stations." Her Monday night "Sex in Your City" piece followed recent efforts such as:
***"Sex-starved: 20 million American couples going 'without' "
***"Newlywed infidelity: More Dallas brides are turning to cheating webites"
***Erotic Capital: The rich combination of social, sexual and physical appeal"
*** "The Sex Diet: Getting in shape to look better naked"
***"Porn and Chicken Club: Running 'afowl' at UNT"
***Women getting tattoos to feel sexier"
Virtually lost in Monday night's sexcapade was Franklin's capable followup story on 16-year-old golf sensation Jordan Spieth of Jesuit College Preparatory School of Dallas, who improbably placed in the top 20 at the Byron Nelson championship.
The old cougar didn't even purr seductively at him or suggestively ask about holes in one. She'll probably be reprimanded for that.
And since you might have to see it to believe it, here's Nic Lively's G-Shot report: