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TV Bulletin Board (June 16) -- Picture Alec Baldwin in Playboy

Hey, sometimes Playboy really is worth looking at for the articles.

The July-August issue, coming out Friday, June 19th, has some heavy punches from Emmy-winning 30 Rock co-star Alec Baldwin, who discourses pointedly on The Today Show, TMZ maestro Harvey Levin and his impending retirement as an actor among other things. Here are some excerpts from his interview with the magazine:

***"Everybody knows (Harvey) Levin is a human tumor, a graceless character who lives in that weird netherworld. I don't blame those pathetic people; they are what they are."

***"I'm on an NBC show and Today was considered vital. But when that voice-mail tape thing happened, Matt Lauer interviewed Levin before he even called me. Lauer put Levin on Today, and they never phoned me. When it's in their interest to reach me, they know how. I saw that and said, 'My relationship with the Today show is over.' I'll never do Today again, ever. Life's too short."

***"I'm done (with acting) in 2012. In March 2012 I'll wake up and say, 'What am I going to do now? Am I done?' I think I will be done. I may finish a play or something, but I'm retiring at the wrap party."

***"This society is very wired together, and it's the most neurotic a society has ever been. Twitter, all this stuff, I don't view as anything good. Everyone is so hyper-aware of what everybody else is doing. Everybody has been convinced their opinion should count. We all need to be spouting opinions."

***"Promotional activities for films and television shows have replaced talented marketing and publicity departments. They've relieved themselves of any responsibility by tying the marketing to the star's name. They pathologically abuse talent by going, 'Hey, if the movie bombs, it's bad for you.' They've psyched you into thinking you've got to run around the country for four weeks, telling the same anecdotes over and over until you want to drop dead. You miss your child's volleyball game because if the movie doesn't do well, it reflects on you. They've conspired to wash their hands of any responsibility."

Baldwin lastly offers his tips on how to become a celebrity: "Don't pay your federal income taxes, get drunk and try to bolt through airport security with a gun in your suitcase, and last but not least, get a DUI and be arrested in Malibu."

Meanwhile, two of Alec's brothers, Stephen and Daniel, have been busily debasing the Baldwin brand by participating in NBC's sub-moronic I'm A Celebrity . . . Get Me Out of Here. There's apparently nothing Big Bro can do about that. Somewhere Harvey Levin is smiling.