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TV Bulletin Board (June 26)


By ED BARK
No one does a funnier late night monologue than Conan O'Brien. As a public service, here's a recent sampling:

"The members of the Spice Girls announced that they are getting back together for a reunion as a farewell gift to their fans. Then they promised to break up again as a gift for everyone else."

"It's been reported that Tom Cruise is eligible to perform weddings because he's reached the highest level of Scientology. Cruise says, 'It's been a long, difficult climb, but I've finally reached the summit of Mount Crazy.' "

"Hillary Clinton has a new campaign ad that spoofs The Sopranos finale. In the ad she orders carrot sticks at a diner and then switches the jukebox to a Celine Dion song. Hillary is calling the ad 'a lot of fun' and Bill is calling it 'a chilling window into my personal hell.' "

"A new report suggests that television journalists are biased because 90% of the money they donate to politicians goes to Democrats. Apparently it's true because earlier today, Larry King sent a huge check to President Woodrow Wilson."

"Wal-Mart is getting an advance shipment of the final Harry Potter book and they've asked their employees not to reveal the ending because they don't want to spoil it for fans. Wal-Mart says the first thing they did was fire the greeter who kept saying, 'Welcome to Wal-Mart. Harry's dead.' "

"Earlier today, Yankee Jason Giambi told Major League Baseball he will testify about his own steroid use but he will not mention the names of any other players. Instead Giambi says he's going to talk about someone whose name is Harry Honds.' "

***Former American Idol finalist Chris Daughtry will be on a bill with Nickelback and Puddle of Mud at an Aug. 19 concert in Frisco's Pizza Hut Park, 9200 World Cup Way. Ticket sales start on June 30th at 10 a.m. via all Ticketmaster outlets.

***NBC has tabbed Dancing with the Stars runnerup Joey Fatone to host The Singing Bee, a new competition reality series premiering July 10th opposite Fox's telecast of baseball's All-Star Game. The Peacock had planned to premiere the series this fall, but struck back after Fox announced a similar show, Don't Forget the Lyrics!, which as of now is set to premiere on July 11th. Wayne Brady hosts that one.