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Fools and their money: Sheen reportedly bombs in first "Violent Torpedo of Truth" outing

Charlie Sheen in disrepair Saturday night at Detroit's Fox Theatre. Photo courtesy of Detroit Free Press website

Those holding tickets to Charlie Sheen's scheduled April 27th stop at Dallas' American Airlines Center might want to try unloading them on Mark Cuban in return for a nosebleed seat to one of the sagging Dallas Mavericks' last regular season games.

Get whatever you can, based on the scathing reviews for Sheen's maiden "Torpedo of Truth" performance Saturday night in Detroit.

The Detroit Free Press account is among several to brand Sheen's discombobulated stage show a disaster that left attendees booing if they hadn't already walked out. Among the observation's in the newspaper's first-hand account: "Sheen, visibly worried that he was losing the audience, at times appeared close to becoming abrasive. He never completely fell apart, but at one point, he did tell a heckler, 'Sorry dude, already got your money.' "

Other accounts say that Sheen joked about Detroit being a good place to buy crack. That didn't go over well either.

As previously posted, Cuban has been avidly pursuing Sheen to do a show of some sort for his HDNet cable network. Wise up, Mark. You'd be better off buying reruns of The Nanny. Or even Charles In Charge.

Here's some additional unsolicited advice to CBS and Warner Bros. Television, which makes Two and a Half Men for the network. Resist all inclinations to give Sheen another chance when he inevitably comes crawling back. Stick to your resolve to make this guy pay. The world already has way too many enablers.

There. That felt good.