VH1's I Want to Work for Diddy raises an overriding question: WHY???
08/04/08 08:50 AM
By ED BARK
The title could use some not-so-fine tuning.
VH1 is calling it I Want to Work for Diddy. More accurately, this bleep-heavy junior apprentice of The Apprentice should be named I Want to be Diddy's Slave.
The premiere episode, airing Monday, Aug. 4th at 8 p.m. (central), gathers 13 would-be personal assistants whose groveling borders on astonishing. Clearly they'll do anything for the imperial Diddy, whom they're not allowed to even meet during the show's curtain-raiser. He hasn't yet asked them to bottle his urine or vomit and then market it as a body wash. But if he ever does, one expects a series of "Yassirs."
Why anyone would want this job is a mystery. Diddy underscores this impression when he's shown cursing an underling over the phone in an apparent preview of coming detractions.
"I demand the best," he says in a calmer moment. "Sleep is forbidden."
In his mind, though, "After you leave me, you will be CEO material."
That's debatable when the opening hour's "art of multi-tasking" challenge includes activities such as taking lunch orders for employees of Diddy's Bad Boy Worldwide Entertainment Group; cleaning his vehicle inside and out; and polishing 20 pairs of his shoes during an around-the-clock gauntlet of menial tasks.
It doesn't always go well. As when loud-mouthed supplicant Kim (who dubs herself "Poprah") and Houstonite Brianna vigorously trash talk one another in the very early going.
"Suck it up, bitch, and let's get this done," Poprah demands. This is in keeping with the subtitle of next Monday's episode, which believe it or not is, "No Bitchassness Allowed."
Anyway, the show's judges -- two of them former personal assistants of Diddy -- eventually team up to banish a gofer after one lucky sap arbitrarily gets dumped before the gofer-ing even begins.
There are 10 scheduled one-hour episodes in all, culminating with one supplicant earning "the privilege of doing Diddy's bidding," as VH1 press materials put it.
Maybe they'll even get paid. But there's been no mention of salary yet.
Grade: D