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Have yourself a merry little 12 Disasters of Christmas

Only Jacey can stop the end of the world in 12 Disasters of Christmas. With help from her father, Joseph, of course. Syfy photo

There's nothing particularly wrong with a cloying, gooey made-for-TV Christmas movie.

'Tis the season after all.

After a while, though, tolerance levels can be exceeded by the likes of ABC's Christmas with Holly, ABC Family's The Mistle-tones, Lifetime's Finding Mrs. Claus and Hallmark's Matchmaker Santa. To name just a very few of the new ones this season.

So if you're in the mood for a palate-cleanser in reverse, you could do worse than -- drumbeat optional -- Syfy's 12 Disasters of Christmas. Loopily entertaining and biblically proportioned, it premieres on Saturday, Dec. 8th at 8 p.m. (central).

Don't expect any holly jolly. In the early minutes of 12 Disasters, good ol' grandma is impaled by a giant lethal "ice spear" from above before an inflatable Santa Claus and Frosty are also taken out. But before her demise, granny gives granddaughter Jacey (Magda Aponowicz) one of five golden rings she'll needed to avert the end of the world.

Jacey's bearded dad is Joseph (Ed Quinn looking like a young James Brolin) and her mother is Mary (Holly Elissa). Throw in an asthmatic kid brother named Peter (Ryan Grantham) and it's modern day New Testament time in a little town called Calvary.

12 Days also includes a weak-kneed betraying mayor named Jude (Andrew Airlie) and Kane the nefarious, family business-killing "warehouse store" magnate (an all-sneer performance by Roark Critchlow).

A basically no-name cast fits right in with the mostly cheesy special effects. But there's a little pulling power, too, with Joseph and Jacey in a desperate search for the remaining hidden rings after finally buying into the apocalyptic visions of an old coot named Grant (Donnelly Rhodes).

"So you're saying two turtles doves and 12 drummers drumming is the end of the world?" Joseph asks with a straight face that must have required multiple takes even on a limited budget.

"That's exactly right," he's told. And it's all according to an ancient Mayan doomsday prophecy scheduled to come true on 12-21-12.

The movie also will treat viewers with visions of a Santa and his sleigh going airborne via a giant funnel cloud. And you won't want to miss one of the main characters getting electrocuted and then vaporized by a string of outdoor Christmas lights. There's no plague of fruit cakes, though.

12 Days probably won't be sponsored by Hallmark cards or Kay Jewelers. It doesn't like seem like a very good fit for either of those two. But a commercial for a Time-Life collection of heavy metal hits might be right in sync.

Not to spoil too much, but we're en route to a happy holiday ending after various characters get their eggs nogged. Viewers who have had their fills of prototypical Christmas movie cheer might want to get into the proper Syfy spirit by priming themselves with their favorite spirits.

That way, the holiday red water running from the kitchen faucet might go down a little easier.