Dino might: History Channel's Jurassic Fight Club trades on big prehistoric bouts
07/29/08 11:29 AM
By ED BARK
Various paleontologists, including "Dinosaur George" Blasing, are brought in to add a little scientific heft to these proceedings.
In reality, though, they're merely prehistoric versions of Larry Merchant, Jim Lampley and "Fight Doctor" Ferdie Pacheco building up the weekly main events on History Channel's Jurassic Fight Club.
Premiering Tuesday, July 29 at 8 p.m. (central), the 12-episode series is not so subtly aimed at young males who played with dinosaurs as kids and now gravitate toward Mixed Martial Arts competitions or maybe even conventional boxing matches on occasion. An opening disclaimer, gravely delivered by narrator Erik Thompson, will only further whet these appetites: "The following is a graphic depiction of a violent prehistoric battle. Viewer discretion is advised."
Mmm, mmm, good. First though, you'll have to slog through some oft-redundant preliminary blah, blah, blah. The first episode, subtitled "Cannibal Dinosaur," rewinds 70 million years to a lush green island that eventually would morph into Madagascar. Your featured, unnamed combatants are a male Majungatholus who thinks with his penis and a female member of the same species intent on protecting her juvenile offspring.
"It's the ultimate battle of the sexes," says Thompson, whose voice-over credits also include Ready 2 Rumble Boxing. The battlers' old stomping grounds also are referred to as a "crime scene" on two occasions, so c'mon in, CSI fans.
The animation is impressive throughout, although in reality this is a half-hour show stretched to a one-hour slot. Recaps are inserted after each commercial break, and you'll also get several recaps of an eventually grisly battle that includes some very heavy-duty cannibalism.
We also learn that Majungatholuses had "a mouthful of serrated, meat-slicing teeth" and were built to take "a heavy beating." Females generally were quicker on their feet but the male had a prettier knob on his head.
Future episodes, stretching all the way to the Oct. 14 "Armageddon" hour, have subtitles such as "River of Death, Gang Killers, Valley of Fear" and "Bloodiest Battle."
There's a veneer of educational value, albeit a very thin one. History Channel's days of presenting black-and-white dissections of World War II's greatest battleships are pretty much long gone or restricted to inconsequential daytime or wee morning hours. Prime-time is for lustier, bloodier pursuits, and Jurassic Fight Club provides a twofer on opening night.
Grade: B-minus
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