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Levi Johnston and attorney not all atwitter over Tonight/Shatner sketch

Vagabond scumbag Levi Johnston reportedly is demanding a retraction from The Tonight Show after William Shatner's dramatic readings of some of his alleged Twitter posts.

Host Conan O'Brien, who prepped the segment by calling Johnston a "douche," said the tweets were "completely verbatim. These are all real. We didn't make these up."

Accompanied by a bass and a bongo drum, Shatner paid tribute to what O'Brien termed Johnston's "natural, almost uncanny gift for language." Such as, "Anybody know where I can get some good weed?" And "Is it true that fat kids never get kidnapped?"

According to Johnston and his attorney, Rex Butler, those are the words of a different Levi Johnston.

Earlier this season, The Tonight Show and Shatner presented two dramatic readings of Sarah Palin's "beautiful Twitter poetry," which apparently was authentic.

Johnston, who's been all over the bottom-feeding media of late, is the father of Palin's grandson, Tripp Easton Mitchell Johnston, and the former fiance of Palin's daughter, Bristol. He's lately been crapping on the Palin family in a series of media interviews tied to a Vanity Fair article titled "Me and Mrs. Palin." He's also announced he'll be posing for Playgirl.

Quick hit: Johnston makes even Paris Hilton seem accomplished. What a twit. Here's the Tonight Show dismantling, with Sarah Palin no doubt at least thinking, "I approve this message."